Who let da cat outta da BOAT?
by SohmaRoolz
Summary: Shigure is taking Tohru on a ship!It's not like Yuki and Kyo will let Shigure keep Tohru to himself right?So they're coming.And when orangetop is involved then we must have Uo & Hana.Will anyone blow the Sohma secret? & Who owns the tiny red underwear!
1. Chapter 1

PLEASE reveiw!

Thanx for reading! ILY!

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><p>It was a gloriously sunny morning, not a grey cloud was to be seen. Trees swayed slightly, ever so gently adding to the overall picturesque landscape.<p>

"So Tohru…Our beautiful flower…" Began Shigure as he sipped a mug of tea.

Yuki and Kyo stiffened as they turned around slowly to see what Shigure was up to.

"Oh Shigure-What's the matter? Did I forget the laundry again! Oh my..!" Tohru sped to the laundry before Shigure could explain.

"No, that's not it! Tohru I thought the two of us could go on a cruise! Together!"

Tohru sped back into the kitchen and frowned. "I…well I don't know. You've been so nice to me… I couldn't accept any more gifts from you"

"Don't be silly! This is like a gift for me too! We will sit on the deck together sipping pina coladas, watching the auburn sun set, having _heart to heart chats._"

"That's it!" Kyo growled

"Me first." Mumbled Yuki

Yuki ran into the kitchen, fist first at Shigure.

WHAM!

"Ahhh good morning Yuki. Tohru and I are going… on a cruise together" murmured Shigure rubbing his head.

"You sicken me, dog." Spat Yuki as he turned for the door.

Suddenly a loud shout was heard from the other rooms.

"WHAT THE HELL YOU BASTARD!" Yelled Kyo as he stormed in the kitchen, he too, entered fist first.

Yuki slyly put out his foot and Kyo landed face first into Shigure's stomach.

"Aww kitty cat wants to cat nap in Old Shigure's lap!"

"SHUT UP!" roared Kyo as he quickly fixed himself up.

"Oh! Now everybody is up! I'll go make breakfast!" Tohru marched over to the fridge and pulled out miso…and leeks.

"Ya call that breakfast? That's DOG food" Bellow Kyo

"Oh I'm sorry Kyo! I forgot you didn't like leeks…"

"It's fine. Make what you want…" sighed Kyo as he fumbled with his bracelet.

He blushed and paced out the room. His destination : the roof.

"I wish that stupid cat would keep his mouth shut, more often, or hopefully for good" Yuki turned to smile at Tohru.

"Miss Honda? May I come with you on the cruise?"

"Sure Yuki, like my mum used to say, the more the merrier." Tohru smiled back, her usual dopey smile and grabbed out a big barramundi, especially for Kyo.

"Uhh…and also Miss Honda? I feel like a cheese toasty today if that's ok.."

"Sure!"

Suddenly…the dreaded arrived.

"ahh if it isn't my brother Yuki. How lovely to see you!" Ayame waved and spread his arms out wide for a hug.

"On second thought…I will miss breakfast today. Excuse me. I will see you at school" Yuki grabbed his backpack and practically sprinted out the door.

"Oh yes. Sorry Ayame. I am late for school. Shigure is taking a bath now…He'll be done soo-" Tohru was cut short of her babbling.

"Ok I'll walk right on in. Thank you Tohru. Good bye. Oh and Kyo has to go too? He is still on the roof."

"Ok I'll get him too. Bye Ayame!"

"Bye"

Tohru ran out the door.

"KYO! Come down! We're late for school!"

"I'll meet you there.."

"OK!"

Tohru scampered down the winding dusty road, kicking dirt up the back of her jacket.

_She always has a smile, that Tohru. Always so kind. So innocent. _Kyo sighed and jumped straight off the roof.

"WAIT UP!" he screamed


	2. Chapter 2

FIRST OF ALL special thanks to Skyerider for reading all my ff's. ILY! And for those other readers… for reading…WHO LET DA CAT OUT OF DA BOAT?

Mmhmm.

Also if you know Howls moving castle be sure to read my other cross over ff with fruits basket& Howls moving castle. (If you want to. XD)

So as always I really appreciate reviews! They help me fix the story and make it a better…place? Watevs.

Also just in case it pops up, I don't own anything…(yea dat was my disclaimer)

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><p>"Why the hell would you invite the Yankee and electra girl?" Kyo seethed<p>

He slammed his fist against the wall creating a big dent.

"Oh why must you all insist on ruining my house?"Shigure shouted from his study.

"Well If Yuki and you are coming, I thought it would be fun for all the people I care about to come too!" Tohru's eyes shone as she clasped her hands together.

"Wait the RAT is coming?"

"Uhuh!" Tohru laid her blue–eyed pleading gaze on Kyo who sighed.

"For you, I'll put up with…the damn rat, and your Yankee psychic friends."

A rumble shook the entire house sending a flurry of birds flying away and leaves falling off the roof guttering. Mice from beneath the house scampered away and nearby stray cats and dogs galloped away too. Ornaments were shattered and roof tiles smashed onto the dusty ground.

A loud cry was sounded from…Yuki's room?

"I refuse you coming on the cruise! You will make it my living nightmare…Although with that stupid cat it won't really make much of a difference. I need a RESTRAINING order against you. Always following me around and bugging me!"

THUD!

RUMBLE!

"Oh why Yuki! I _am _your older brother, Don't I deserve better?"

THUD!

"NO! Stay. Out. Of. My. Life."

"But Yuki!"

Tohru ran to Shigure's private study.

"Um, Shigure? Is Ayame still here? "

"Uhuh…Just um…SHUSH!"

"Please make him leave, he's making Yuki upset!" Tohru said firmly. She surprised Shigure and even herself with her sudden tone.

"Ok. If it makes our flower happy."

Shigure pushed back against the table and plodded over to Yuki's room.

"Damn dog is taking his time," Mumbled Kyo "I uh…Tohru?"

Tohru took an abrupt spin and landed in Kyo's arms. Well Kyo, HUMAN form's arms.

In a puff of smoke and a certain 'loud boom' Kyo was hissing and meowing trying to claw his way out of Tohru's embrace.

"Oh, I'm sorry Kyo. I didn't mean to-"

"SHUT UP! It's fine. I saved you. Just be a little less clumsy space cadet."

"Oh…right."

Tohru reddened and walked over to the room. The wind howled and after a minute or so, Ayame left.

Yuki was furious that Ayame would even think of coming.

Then there was a knock on the door.

"I thought I told Ayame he was'nt welcome" grumbled Yuki as he went for the door.

And to his surprise in came… Momiji and Hatsaharu.

"Oh hello Haru, good morning Momiji. I was-"

"Where is TOHRU?" Hollered Momiji

He bombarded inside and looked up and down the house.

"TOHRU! TOHRU!"

"Shut up you noisy runt!" Kyo barged inside and whacked him across the head.

"Waaahhh Tohru! Kyo's hitting me!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Oh hello Momiji! Hi Hatsaharu! Wow…everyone's come to visit. Is everything ok?" Tohru came in holding a basket of Yuki's freshly cleaned clothes…and underwear.

"I UHH, Miss Honda- We'll um talk soon-not being pushy but please put my clothes-away-anywhere just-"

"HAHA! Yuki wears this little thing?" Kyo roared with laughter, practically suffocating.

Kyo extended his pinky finger and scooped up a little bright red garment of tight fitting underwear.

"Tha-that's not mine! Tha-That i-is Shigure's! Yes! That's right! It is Definitely Shigure's!"

"Oh really Yuki?I was almost sure that it is yours! It's always with your clothes so I always put them in your room!" Tohru babbled

Yuki face-palmed his bright red face, in fact, his face was the same colour as the underwear.

Everyone, even Shigure from the other room was laughing except Tohru and Yuki.

"huh?" said Tohru looking around, very confused.

"Urgh…Miss Honda. Just go."

"Oh… uh right!"

Tohru left as Kyo wiped away the fountain of tears that had soaked his face.

"If you even BREATHE a word of this at school then I will beat you in a fist fight!" Said Yuki intensely.

"Whatever budgie smuggler, rat boy!"

The crew burst into fits of laughter again and Yuki left for his room.

"So err Ha'ru what brings YOU here?" said Kyo still giggling like a girl.

"I wanted to confirm that Hatori was still driving you guys up to the port" Said Haru

He too was still giggling.

"Ok! You guys can leave now! I'm gunna sort out the damn rat. Tease him a little more! Bye"

"Uhuh! You do that! Don't be too mean though… This is Yuki. He will pound you if you aggravate him too much"

"Yeah, whatever."

Kyo flicked his hand and went on. The cat hunting his prey.


	3. Chapter 3

"So Uo-chan I have a job for you…" Yuki's eyes gleamed

"Yeah, whaddya need prince?" Uo tossed her fringe to the side and peered down at the woven basket.

"See these…? Can you sneak in to the kitchen and spike Kyo's codfish?"

Yuki held up the red chilli, waving it around.

"Ya want it chopped?" Uo smirked

"Sure….whatever you prefer!"

Uo grabbed a handful and strode into the kitchen, she tossed her head to the side.

Tohru stood at the chopping board, she tossed a handful of lentils in a pot and sprinkled some salt.

"Mom, I'm using the recipe you made up…" Tohru glanced over to the picture of Kyoko she always kept close.

"The codfish surprise… I think Kyo will really like this…"

Uo stopped short and sighed.

She walked back into the room, Yuki looked at her inquisitively.

"Did you do it?"

"Nah sorry prince, Tohru seems so happy that Kyo will like her recipe…"

Uo grabbed her satchel and waved good-bye. She revved up her motorbike and left as quick as she came.

"Fine…to get things done properly you gotta do it yourself." Yuki picked up a few chillies and tossed them into the bowl labelled KYO."

"Oh uh Yuki… that's Kyo's bowl…?"

"I know…he asked me to…"

"Well ok…then. But those looked like-"

"Don't worry Miss Honda."

"Ok"

"Well Shigure, Yuki, Kyo! Lunch is ready!"

Yuki sniggered as he kneeled down at the table.

"Coming Tohru…Wouldn't miss your cooking for the world.."Shigure hurried out of the study

"I'll bring Kyo's up on the roof…" Tohru hurried to the roof while Yuki followed behind her.

Kyo's reddish brown gaze was set on a small white cloud. The wind blew the clouds along slowly, very peacefully.

"Codfish surprise!" Tohru handed the tray to Kyo

Kyo sniffed and sortasmiled at it. "Mmm smells like red curry…"

"Really…?"

But before Tohru could piece it all together, Kyo took a long hearty gulp.

"KYO W-"

"AGH! NO! What the hell? " Kyo jumped up and waved his arms around like an octopus with a spaz attack.

"WAR-TAH NOWWWW!" He howled

Yuki smirked as he put the water down at his feet. "WAR-TAH harrrrrrr" Kyo leapt over to the bottle

But before kyo could get his hands on the iced water Yuki snatched it back up and waved it high in the air.

"DAMN RAT HUARRRRYYy UPPPrr heeeehaaahhh!"

"You gotta sing Baby by Justin Beiber"

"NO WAY heeeehhaaaaah! I'll just go down and get one!"

"But I disconnected the tap and tipped all the water out of the bottles."

"YOU dirty bastard! HAARHEEEHAAR"

"Uh-I-calm down Yuki! I'll get You some water and Kyo don't be mean! I mean I-uh-Yuki! You said! I uh-Wait I meant clam down-no not clam, calm...I meant calm! So everybody just clam-AGH I did it again! So just be normal everyone!" Tohru ran around and soon there were two octopuses spazzing out.

"URGH! RAAT!"

"Sing it."

"FINE!"

Everyone paused and looked at Kyo, including Shigure from below. The funny sight of three people dancing on his roof did arouse his curiosity.

"You know you love me-I know you HEEEHHHAHH care

Just shout whenever, and I'll be HEEEE there...

You are my ARGH is that enough torture?"

"Sing til you finish the chorus...see Tohru! I'm showing him some slack!"

"Uh-I"

"You are my love, You are my heart HEEEHOOOO

And we will never ever ever be apart

Are we an item? HEEEHAHHOOO Girl quit playin ARGH!

We're just...RAT! PLEASE I BEG YOU!"

"No"

"we're just friends...What are you saying?

Said there's another and looked right in my eyes

My first love broke my heart for the first time"

Little did Kyo know, Saki Hanajima, Arisa Uotani and half of Kaibara high were looking up at him on Sohma property. Momiji also had his cam-corder.

"And I was like Baby, baby baby ohh

Like baby baby baby NO! HEEEHAH

Like baby baby baby oh

Thought you'd always be mine, mine"

Yuki tossed the bottle at Kyo who was red in the face. Kyo suddenly turned and saw the mass of people laughing and jeering at him with glee.

"HAHAHA! Yuki did well this time!"

"eh-ma-gawd! Did you see how hawt Kyo was up there singing Justin beiber?"

"EWWWW Justin Beiber?"

"You damn rat. I hate you! I HATE YOU ALL!"

Kyo ran inside and, dare I say it, he began to sob. Tohru being Tohru ran in too.

"That rat! He's going to _get it_ once in for all!"

"But-Kyo! They say that two wrongs don't make a right! That means revenge isn't always the answer."

"Oh but I know _this _was revenge...For the underwear thing ya know? So...URGH I'll think of something! I will! I'll beat that damn rat Yuki once and for all."

Kyo stormed in his room. Tohru stood there...

_Why does it smell so...smoky?_

Tohru ran to the kitchen waving her hand over the overflowing pot.

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><p>Oh and i take this time to say thanx Charmed Anodite, Contestshipping13 and all the others who read! I luv ya to bits!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Ok first off...

thank you to all my readers especially Contestshipping13 and Charmed Anodite for reading all and most my stories!

So this little ~(o o)~ animal critter is giving you a round of applause!

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><p>"He's so dreamy…" murmured Tohru<p>

_I will never say never…I will fight_

_I will fight til forever!_

"Urgh! I'm gunna hurl!" Kyo wound down the window.

"Well, Hatori couldn't be here with us so I decided to drive myself…What does this do?"

_Whenever you knock me down_

_I will not_

Shigure pressed the _eject CD_ button and the CD was flung back onto Tohru's forehead.

"NO!" Moaned Kyo "That's my favourite-I mean I HATE THAT SONG!"

Yuki sniggered. "And you call me the sissy boy…so that's how you knew the full lyrics…"

Momiji giggled too.

"Shut it ya damn rat! You too annoying bunny!"

"Waaaahh Kyo's being mean!"

Kyo leaned out the window and let out a mighty wave of…unmentionable green slop.

"Oh Kyonkichi! This is Hari's car…I need to return it you know…"

"Oh don't worry! I will clean it up! I am Tohru Honda and I will _never _give up!" Tohru punched the air determined…although she put a hole through the sun roof

"Ok what is it with everyone and trying to destroy everything I own or look after?" Shigure whined

Yuki too found he ripped the fabric off the seat with annoyance.

"Oh when do we get to the cruise?"

"Um Shigure?" Tohru had a sheepish grin on her face "We went 80Kms in the wrong direction

"!" howled Kyo, Shigure and Yuki in unison.

"Didn't ya check which way we were going!" exclaimed Kyo

"Well…I kinda had the map upside down! Hehe silly me!" Tohru rubbed the back of her head innocently.

Shigure panicked.

"AGH! Which one is the brake?"

"OH."

"MY."

"GOD"

Said the three in the back, one after the other.

"Ok Tohru since I am dying today I wanna say I will always love you!" Kyo sighed

"Kyo! Have some faith in me!" Shigure laughed

"Um…Shigure do you even know what you just said? Even that stupid cat couldn't trust you"

They were gunna go over the edge.

Suddenly the car stopped.

" Whew. Thanks down there Aya"

"Anytime Shigure!"

"Wait. You snuck Ayame in with us?" Yuki shrieked

"Well, he said that he needed to see how you were going! And a friend in need is a friend indeed!"

Yuki went pale and leaned back in the seat, praying it would be all over soon.

"So that's why you're keeping it so cold in here! So Aya stays a snake!" cried Momiji in the front seat

"I need a bag…" slurred Kyo

Shigure swerved left and right while Kyo tried to keep what was remaining of his breakfast down.

"I want a BAG!" said Kyo

"But Kyo…We don't have any!"

"I need a-"

Kyo passed out and was snoring happily, Yuki sighed with exhaustion and resumed looking out the window.

"AGH! Kyo died! Get us to a hospital!" Squealed Tohru

"No…He's taking a well needed beauty sleep."

"Oh."

It was very quiet and stuffy in the little black car. Tohru threw her head back and tried to sleep. Aya wouldn't shut up. He'd talk about his experiences in high school and him on a trip and him growing millet and corn.

It was all too much for Yuki.

He fumbled with his thumbs and pulled at his hair.

He sat with his legs on the chair. He bit Kyo on the arm.

But still they had four hours to go.

Tohru checked her phone for texts and found a couple dozen from Uo and Hana waiting at the cruise.

_We were here 2hrs ago…where r u?_

_Your aura seems so far away….where are u?_

And many others like them.

"Ahh we were perfect! The inseperable trio! Fighting off evil with our pure hearts!" Ayame gloated

"SHUT UP!" Yuki finally seethed "You may have saved my life from one thing, but really, I'd rather have fallen off that cliff than have you yabber on for even five minutes!"

"My dear brother Yuki…I am hurt. I order you to apologise to your loving and beautiful brother."

Yuki also passed out and Tohru was left sitting in the middle with nothing to do. " Hey Ayame wanna play I-spy?"

"I spy a handsome dog!"

"No! That's not how you pla-"

"with beautiful black eyes which sparkle like a dragons treasure, his jet black hair which flourishes-"

Tohru sighed and just hoped that they would be on that ship ASAP.

"Aya, How about we sing a song?"

"Oh I have a good one! 99 bottles of Sake!" butted in Tohru

Around this time is when Kyo and Yuki were regaining consciousness.

"99 bottles of sake on the wall, 99 bottles of Sake

You take one down pass it around 98 bottles of Sake on the wall!

98 bottles of Sake on the wall! 98 bottles of Sake! You take one down pass it around 97 bottles of Sake on the wall! 97 bottles of Sake on the wall 97 bottles of Sake, you take one down pass it around 96 bottles of Sake on the wall! 96 bottles-"

Tohru, Shigure and Aya sung that with Kyo boiling in his seat.

"86 bottles of Sake on the wall-"

"NO ONE CARES ABOUT FREAKING SAKE!"

"Oh sorry Kyo did we wake you? We can stop if you like-"

"86 bottles of Sake, you take one down pass it around 86 bottles of Sake on the wall"

Yuki finished

Soon the whole car except pissed off Kyo was singing.

_An hour or so later… _

"2 bottles of sake on the wall 2 bottles of Sake! You take one down pass it around 1 bottle of Sake on the wall! 1 bottle of sake on the wall 1 bottle of sake! You take one down, pass it around no bottles of Sake on the waaalll!"

" again, again!" Cried Momiji

"Ok!" They all said in unison

"NOOO!NOO! NOOO! "

"99 bottles of sake on the wall, 99 bottles of SakeYou take one down pass it around 98 bottles of Sake on the wall! 98 bottles of Sake on the wall! 98 bottles of Sake! You take one down pass it around 97 bottles of Sake on the wall! 97 bottles of Sake on the wall 97 bottles of Sake, you take one down pass it around 96 bottles of Sake on the wall!"

"Aww we're here! I really liked that car ride! Let's do it again sometime!"

"We've still got the trip back momiji"

"Oh god!" cried Kyo


End file.
